8/31/2005

PEOPLES REACTION 2......

How other people react to what you say and do never has anyhting to do with you.But it certainly has everything to do with them.You can say the exact same thing to two or more people and each one will react differently based entirely on their previous experiences in life and how they are feeling......

That is not to say what you've said or done wont scratch an already raw area in this person because that obviously happens.But the raw area axisted before your comment or action.You didnt create the wound but you certainly reminded the other person about it.(although they may not recognize it as their own issue and may think it is all about you.)

Most of us have spent our lives trying to avoid the potential explosions from other peoples reactions. Certainly as children or even as adults we often judged our selves based on the reaction we received from another person never realizing that what people are really showing you is always about them and their inner worlds......what can you say about it?

6 comments:

Lynne said...

What you say rings true. That's why I think it's important to try and remain very observant in your interactions with other people. If you don't, you might miss the moment when something you said has triggered another person's pain.

It can be really subtle. But if you watch for it, you can see their eyes darken, their jaw tighten, etc. Then pay attention to what you just said, and you may be able to figure out what it is they are reacting to and change course.

If not, you can just slowly tiptoe out of the room. ;-)

pieterbie said...

You have an important point.
We are not trained, educated to understand our human contacts in life, and that is a dreadful shame.
I try to concentrate on this with my children, but maybe I should spend some more time doing so.
If we all made an effort to understand each other better, the world would be a better place. My employer has a training program on the subject, and I must admit it is a success. Employees who have enjoyed the training find they build better relationships armed with the tools and knowledge. It works in both ways, of course.
I use the technique at home to try and understand my wife and children better. I admit that it has payed off there as well.

Sidney said...

Don't say anything that is bad !

HiPnCooLMoMMa said...

i definitely agree with you! 100%

Paul said...

True - many people tend to take too much responsibility for how others feel.

Misreflection said...

I agree with everyword you're saying..communication is not as easy we think.. the reaction of another often opens doors to the real person inside.. True true..
BTW hope things are going fine with you.. ..